Tuesday was my thirtieth birthday. In the excitement of becoming a father, the day came and went without a whole lot of notice. I think I was really more excited about it being Fina’s one week anniversary! I woke up with that on my mind until EunBong kissed me and said, “Congratulations!” For a moment, I still thought she was referring to the baby.
When I was first married and people would ask me how it feels, I would say, “It’s like having a birthday, nothing really changes, just I can say I’m married now!” From the time I was old enough to know about getting old, I was told thirty would be the tough one. Maybe it’s because I’m sort of where I figured I’d be by the time I’m thirty, or maybe it’s because I’ve been thirty for a year and a half by Korean age already, but it hasn’t really bothered me. Maybe the only difference is that birthdays used to be exciting, but the last few years, I haven’t really care a whole lot.
Of course, my practice wouldn’t be much to speak of if something like turning thirty would be a drag. Maybe getting old in general is still going to be hard to deal with, but I haven’t have a serious physical problems and my health has been fine. Getting old isn’t quite a reality yet. I woke up on Tuesday with no more or less of a change than when I awoke Monday and with the same amount of change as what I went through yesterday and today. One day marked on the calendar isn’t going to change that pace. I don’t feel any different, only now I can say I’m 30!
One thing I do think about sometime is how time does seem to speed up. The years get shorter. I could see how suddenly the decades could start adding up. When you are one year old, a year is 100% of your life. You must live the entire amount of your life again before you are two, but then, a year is only 50% of your life, then 33%, 25%, 20%… This past year was only 0.0333% of my life. The coming year will acount for 0.0322% by the time it’s over. I brought this up with Joe one night before he left, and he pointed out how when we were kids, a 15 minute drive seemed so long. A 45 minute drive might as well have been all day. We’re preparing to head to Canada in a few weeks, and at about 34 hours, the trips going to feel a little long!